Meet Diego, The Superhero Swinger Of The Turtle Kingdom

This article is provided by: Raleigh Pest Control

No, you didn’t read that title wrong. The turtle kingdom has literally been saved by divine the power of nymphomania. Well, the turtles of the Galapagos Islands anyway…

All at the hands of a true modern day Romeo (actual name: Diego), whose love for his fellow lady-turtles is being praised by animal conservationists everywhere.

Turtle Diego

You see, Diego is responsible for fathering over EIGHT HUNDRED offspring with various lady partners. This is truly significant because these turtles in years past, were nearly extinct. Fifty years ago (my man is OVER 100), Diego was one of a species consisting of only three males and twelve females.

This was such a threatening issue, researchers moved Diego from his cushy abode, at the San Diego Zoo, in hopes of encouraging breeding amongst these turtles. And boy did Diego deliver. Nearly 2,000 turtles have been released back into the wild since Diego’s arrival and  scientists speculate that Diego alone is responsible for nearly 40% of these.

The source of his appeal? No one is quite sure. But we are willing to bet that when lady turtles look at Diego, they must see something similar to this:

turtle

Whatever the reason, it’s working.

The lead Zookeeper of the San Diego Zoo praised Diego by commenting that his record was impressive, “Not just because he sired so many offspring, but he also created competition with rival males that previously showed no interest in the females. Quite possibly the greatest conservation success story for all turtle and tortoise species to date.”

When asked to comment on his own record, Diego (that sly devil), merely replied with this face…

Turtle

KOWABUNGA DUDE! The Turtle Kingdom thanks you!

The Internet Is Freaking TF Out Over A Caterpillar Named “Chicken Nugget”

This article is provided by: Go-Forth Pest Control

A tumblr user by the name of oddity-txt captured the hearts and minds of the natives when he adopted a small caterpillar, that he found on his way to class, and named it “Chicken Nugget.”

screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-2-03-59-pm

But much to his alarm, poor Chicken Nugget, once a proud lime-green caterpillar, began to turn slightly dull in color.

Chicken Nugget

Oddity posted this photo with the caption, “Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright.”

Concerned for the well-being of his new caterpillar companion, he turned to the only place that can truly diagnose communicable diseases and bizarre ailments: the Internet. There, in all its wisdom, the Internet revealed that, “apparently Chicken Nugget is a Spicebush Swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.

And the world breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Chicken Nugget

Completely yellow in color now, Oddity decided it was time to make Chicken Nugget comfortable for his big transformation. Gathering the finest of materials (a stick and some leaves) he made Chicken Nugget what one might mistake for “The Ritz Carlton” of caterpillar dwellings.

Chicken Nugget

The caterpillar ate, drank, and relaxed as he prepared himself for the big transformation and Oddity was there to capture it all.

Chicken Nugget

Even going as far as to, “put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone.

Chicken Nugget

So he waited…

Chicken Nugget

And waited…

Chicken Nugget

And ten days went by…

When one day, upon returning home from school, Oddity found a beautiful black butterfly fluttering around his room…

Chicken Nugget

On the eleventh-day…Chicken Nugget rose and became Chicken Wing.

Hallelujer Chicken Nugget

But, as an adult now, it was time for Chicken Wing to pack his bags and start paying for his own cable…

Oddity made sure he was strong, prepared to brave the big new world, and released Chicken Wing into the wild.

GOODBYE CHICKEN WING. FLY FREE. FLY TRUE. THe internet will never forget you!

Entomologists Rally Behind A 7-Year Old After She Was Bullied For Loving Bugs

This article is provided by: Go-Forth Pest Control

Entomologists are taking no shit when it comes to 7-year old Sophia Spencer, a girl who was being bullied at school for her love of insects.

After moving to a new school in Ontario, Sophia became the subject of ridicule from her new classmates over her love of bugs. Her mother even reports that she was “dragged through the mud” by a group of children because of her insect hobby. One boy even asked to see one of Sophia’s bugs, and after she graciously obliged, he stomped on it and killed it.

Um, what?! Who are these children? We will steal ALL their bicycles!

I mean, come on, look at this adorable little chicken nugget:

Sophia Spencer

“A couple of months ago, Sophia had asked me if she could make a career out of bugs someday, and I told her of course,” Sophia’s mother revealed. Not wanting her daughter to be discouraged by the vile, bottom-feeding little children in her class, Mrs. Spencer wrote to the Entomological Society of Canada for help.

The members of the society sent out the following tweet and the response was overwhelming.

Tweet for Sophia

…which garnered immediate attention from the community of insect enthusiasts.

Tweet to SophiaTweet to SophiaTweet to SophiaTweet to Sophia

YAAASSS! Schoolyard bullies, BOW DOWN TO QUEEN SOPHIA!

Her mother is nothing but overwhelmed with gratitude toward the scientists who went out of their way for her daughter, “There have been people working in Canada, the Amazon Rainforest, Venezuela, the UK, and USA reaching out to offer support, encouragement and offers to be her pen pal. I know she cannot even grasp the amount of support this has shown but I do and it has truly been a blessing.”

Sophia Spencer

This makes us happier than words can begin to describe!

Stay “weird” Sophia! The scientific community, and we, have your back!

(PS. We were serious about the bicycles, let us know girl…)

Demon Mummy Dog Unearthed In Siberia

A group of Siberian diamond miners were “mining” their own business this past week, doing their diamond mining thing, providing the jewelry counters of the world with dazzling dinero, when they stumbled upon…

**Disclaimer– Don’t click below if you’re currently: driving a car, drinking coffee, performing surgery, helping an old lady across the street, or holding a child…**

[showhide type=”clicktoreveal”]demon dog[/showhide]

Ahhhhhhh!

(Pausing so you can provide medical attention to anyone who may need it)

No, it’s not a demon dog that has crawled up from the Underworld to bring about the end of days. Actually, no one quite knows what it is. Scientists are currently studying the specimen, which was found near the town of Udachny, in hopes of uncovering clues that point to the species of origin. Personally, I like to imagine a group of very important looking experts (all with far too many credentials for one person) standing around looking like this:

confused about demon dog

For now, the miners are speculating that it is some sort of unidentified dinosaur, other townspeople are considering it a negative omen. The latter is even more ironic considering the name of the town in which it was found, literally translates into “lucky.”

What we do know is that some naysayers are claiming that it is simply a wolverine, sable, or marten (which are common in the area) that was mutated by being trapped in sediment for such a long period of time.

The fact that the creature is so well-preserved is because Siberia is freezing, literally. The temperatures are currently at a staggering -34 degrees Fahrenheit. Whatever it is, has also been there a while; the sand that the animal was found in dates back as far as 252 million years ago.

Get this, until an official conclusion can be made you don’t need to go to a secret government lab to view the demon dog. No, you just need to take a peek inside one local’s freezer. We aren’t kidding.

But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. You know, because we’re friends. I have actually found a photo of the creature from when it was alive. Dun dun dunnnnnnn!

Only click if you’re totally okay with shedding your identity and entering witness protection from this day forward:

[showhide type=”pressrelease”]ugly dog[/showhide]

Okay, okay….

You caught me. It’s just a photo of the winner of the World’s Ugliest Dog competition.

Made you look!

10 Rock n’ Roll Songs That Are Totally Bugged Out!

If you’re like me, the only association that you ever made between insects and rock n’ roll were the roach motels that leather pant donning rockers frequented because they didn’t want to smash up their own VCR sets.

But did you know that there are literally hundreds of rock songs whose content and namesakes are inspired by insects? Yeah, neither did I.

For the sake of saving you from perusing the internet for hours in search of these speaker blowing ballads (because you’re TOTALLY interested and because I really have nothing better to do), I compiled a list of ten insect inspired songs by bands that have achieved moderate to “sign my boob!” success.

And they are…

1.AC/DC: Fly on the Wall

What is a list about rock n’ roll if you don’t mention AC/DC?! I hope you appreciate that incredibly realistic (ha!) fly cartoon buzzing around the screen as much as we did. (PS. Was the point of this video and the presence of camera trench-coat man totally lost on anyone else?)

2.Aerosmith: Joanie’s Butterfly

I’ll give you a second to wipe those tears from your eyes after you listen to such a moving (sure, that’s the appropriate adjective, right?) ballad. I’m sorry if you like this song. I’ll give Aerosmith credit where credit is due (that song from the movie Armageddon was the absolute anthem of prepubescent school dances), but this song kinda blows.

3.Alice Cooper: Earwigs to Eternity

Short, sweet, and with a lot of bizarre vocals: Alice Cooper’s choice to name this song “Earwigs to Eternity” makes just about as much sense as his sense of style.

4.Black Sabbath: Wasp

“Turns your body to a corpse. Turns your body to a corpse. Turns your body to a corpse.” Now, that is some freaking poetry. Thanks Black Sabbath for helping me finally find a background song for my nephew’s birthday slideshow.

5.Dave Matthews: Ants Marching

Okay, I know Dave Matthews isn’t really a “rock n’ roll” band but, after the grey cloud cast over the world by the last song, I thought everyone needed something a little more upbeat. I mean, a bunch of dudes gathering around to like, totally jam out is like, totally super sweet bro.

6.Jimi Hendrix: Hornets Nest

This song sounds like my emotions and subsequent flee/chase montage that ensues after encountering a hornets nest IRL.

7.Pearl Jam: Red Mosquito

I don’t like mosquitoes either, Pearl Jam, but maybe if you’d take that wad of cotton out of your mouth that you seem to be singing through, your point could be communicated a little more clearly.

8.Rolling Stones: Spider and the Fly

This song is about chasing tail. Plain and simple. Apparently Confucius wrote the songs Wikipedia page stating, “By the end of the song, one is left wondering which person is the spider and which is the fly.” Okay. The Stones have only ever preformed this song on tour twice, so that alone should tell you something…

9.Smashing Pumpkins: Bullet with Butterfly Wings

Be still my teenage angst beating heart. This song is by no means Beethoven’s 5th but, my moody, self-involved teenage self will always have a place for it in her ice-cold heart.

10.U2: The Fly

Welcome to the Bono show. Does U2 even have other members? I don’t know the guy, and I know he does a lot of charity work, but I just feel like he’s a guy who might refer to himself in the third person. No one wants to be that guy…

Thanks for reading, rocking, and reminiscing. We’ve already called the ambulance because we know your mind has just been blown. Until next time, stay crazy kids.

**MIC DROP**

From Pests to Pokemon…Gotta Catch ‘Em All!

The year is 2016 and if you haven’t been living under a rock for the past week, you’ve probably heard of Pokemon Go, the new mega-sensation that has taken the world by storm, forcing nerds and common-folk everywhere to band together in a way we never thought possible…

Acting as the glue that now holds our once fragile society together, Pokemon Go reached 21 million users in the United States alone barely a week after its release. This makes the game the biggest in United States history and I look forward to the day that I can tell my grandchildren, tears shining in my eyes, that I was here to see it all.

But wait, how does this relate to pest control? Are you on the wrong blog? Did your paid subscription* to the greatest pest control blog of all time somehow get cancelled?! Nay! You are here, you are safe, deep breaths now. But back to the question, how does this relate to pest control? There are actually a few parallels…

Basically, the entire premise of Pokemon Go is centered around catching/controlling an inhuman species. Sound familiar? Except in Pokemon Go, the inhuman species sometimes looks like this…

Scary Pokemon

It’s okay, you can look now, it’s gone. Actually, mostly they bear resemblance to what pests look like IRL (in real life, come on, Geek 101). Like these lovely little critters who, like IRL pests, seem to be the only thing lurking around your neighborhood (my fellow gamers will feel me on that one):

Pokemon Examples

Since it is apparently too difficult to just put a Charizard by my mailbox, most of your time will be spent catching these common pests, I mean Pokemon.

In fact, much of the inspiration for Pokemon comes from real world bugs. There is an entire genre of the creatures based on traditional insects:

Bug Pokemon

Pretty cool, right?

Despite it’s near worldwide success, people are giving Pokemon Go the most credit for offering people a reason to get out and take part in the living world. You know, nature? That green place that is outside of your window? By doing so, people are slowly becoming more active in and appreciative of the environment/living organisms around them!

In theory, not only are you getting to live out your life-long dream of becoming a pest control superstar, you might actually be able to remember what it’s like to be a functioning member of society and finally get a glimpse of that mythical entity, the Sun!

So, thanks Pokemon Go. There might still be hope for us after all.

Pokemon Celebration

*JK, TOTALLY FREE — DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE